School is Hell with Fluorescent Lighting

It’s no coincidence that one of my favorite characters in fiction is Boo Radley. The more I walk out of my house these days, the more I wish I could go back inside. It seems each time I venture into the great abyss outside my front yard, disaster strikes.

Okay, well no, not any types of life altering catastrophes occur, but simply little things which make life all the more unpleasant. Take for example Exhibit A:

Only  moments ago I walked out of my house for the innocent purpose of getting in the car. Yet somehow in the twenty-second trek from my front door, I saw a person I greatly despise out in the street. Acting like some sort of criminal, I dashed to my car to avoid any type of conversation. Don’t get me wrong, this person isn’t some physical threat to me, but their conceited personality is definitely a threat to my remaining brain cells. It’s no wonder Boo never leaves his house. I wish I could hide from about 75% of the people I’m forced to go to school with each day.

Maybe I’m turning into some sort of hermit. I mean, every other teenager loves partying and being out, while I’m the complete opposite. On a Friday night I’d rather be chilling at home with my cats.

Oh God.

Did I just say that?

I AM turning into some sort of hermit. Boo Radley and I would get along great. No talking, no communicating. Slip a note inside my window and I might respond without having an anxiety attack. Soon my only remaining friends will be those who don’t mind talking to me via letters, and random people who STILL refuse to leave my house alone (people of the fundraising, Jehovah’s witness, girlscout cookie selling type).

You see my predicament. Do I force myself to take part in the only legal form of torture they have left… a.k.a. school? Or hole up in my room for all of eternity? Neither sounds very promising. So for the time being, I compromise: Wake up at the crack of dawn, force myself to school and sports practice, come home to do homework, and then sleep.

Honestly, it’s the worst of EVERY world. Gosh, I just love being a teenager. Please Boo Radley, let me be your roommate.

Until he gets back to me on that, I’ll have to continue compromising with my daily routine and school-going. Oh, did I mention I don’t believe in evolution?

Why, you might ask?

Because all the kids at my school are STILL monkeys.